From Stress to Success: Empowering Tips for Self-Employed (Or Anyone)

Being self-employed is extremely rewarding. Helping others, seeing results, and knowing you do it on your own builds your positive self-worth. However, I have come head-to-head with the ever-creeping self-employed vampire, STRESS…and, you will too! So, here is how to reduce stress through empowerment, so you can enjoy your independence.

Note: Working on your mental strength, health, and consciousness will allow you to achieve whatever you want in life. So, use these tactics beyond self-employment to avoid depression and self-sabotage.

Why Stress Will Inevitably Happen:

When freelancing, you only deal with yourself, which is a great reduction of variables. But, when you are self-employed, you will stack on responsibilities, which are stressors. BUUTTT when you fulfill those responsibilities, you turn that into positive energy, momentum, and self-worth. So, we should be focusing on building our positive selves. 

This is where hustle culture and the daily grind blur the line. You take on all these responsibilities because today’s culture teaches us a busy bee is a good bee. Hustle culture spreads you too thin. It also makes you an aggressor because you are looking to attack tasks and new ventures. But, those never end! You will always be attacking the next thing.

As someone self-employed, you will always be at The Peter Principle. This is the idea that people are promoted until they reach a position where they are no longer competent. You are always going to be promoted because you are in the top tier, and, as a result, you will always be incompetent. Contradictory to the definition, this is temporary incompetence. Accept your new position as a person who pretty much doesn’t know anything and has to figure it out while keeping your cool. 

Luckily, this is a good thing. You will always be learning. People will mistake your journey for competence. Rather, you are accepting challenges without stress because you know there is a solution and you will find it at some point. You are building your self-confidence!

A Lesson In Self-Confidence and Self Worth

I became a freelancer because I believed I was worth more. It wasn’t a career path I knew about and chose. Rather, outside stressors taught me a lesson in valuing myself.

When working for an agency, I was hustling my ass off for them, and they didn’t truly appreciate my work, my potential, or my dedication. Of course, they loved the output I produced for the salary they paid me. Being a people pleaser, it initially felt good to be a top-tier producer, but rather than being compensated with more money, I was delivered more tasks for my…competence! 

More tasks = more variables, which also = more stress. I want more money, but they said my position was at its salary cap of $35,000/year. This is where Self Worth became a driving factor. I was tired of being told how much I was worth. Tasks are worth money, I am priceless.

It was then that I decided I am the one who determines my worth. However, the stressor of uncertainty reared its head. Being uncertain is part of your temporary incompetence. How do you deal with uncertainty? You write the next section about it…

Dealing With Uncertainty

Nothing is certain. Accept that, live in the present, and you can live in bliss. Uncertainty causes stress because we focus on doubts and “what ifs”. Don’t get caught in a “what if” spiral because “what if aliens landed, and made you realize you were artificial intelligence? You now have to accept you aren’t free thinking but programmed, and they can shut you off any second.” It isn’t worth stressing something that hasn’t happened yet. 

However, you can stack your desired outcome in your favor. Like a boy scout, always be prepared. Prep yourself for worst-case scenarios in the way you feel most supported. For me, I always say it isn’t the end of the world, and if it is, then it won’t matter anyway. Being bleak might not work for you, so other options include giving yourself your next two moves. If you get the result you want, you already know your next steps. If you don’t, what is your pivot? Now, uncertainty is gone because you have a plan. 

I knew that if my freelancing didn’t work out, I could tend bar again, phone a friend for a job, or apply at the many digital marketing agencies that want a competent, skilled employee. Or I could move to Costa Rica and surf for the rest of my life. 

Empower Your Stress

Just as Kristen Ulmer views fear in “The Art of Fear (Why Conquering Fear Won't Work and What to Do Instead)“ (I highly suggest you read or give it a listen), you need to give stress a position in your company. 

Think of your emotions, feelings, and every little tingle as a well-run factory or business. When one emotion is highly present, the rest of the employees cheer them on in support. When you are happy, your whole company is cheering on happiness to empower it. Stress is simply a worker who needs to be empowered. It isn’t “negative,” but rather it is simply saying “Hey, you need to reassess, please.” If you ignore its call, it will get louder until all your employees (emotions, tingles, brain power) stop and listen…which is a mental meltdown.

Quick Personal Anecdote

Photo by Jamie Furlong

I actually did this practice with surfing. After I was held underwater and fought to get back to shore in what I was told was a 10ft+ swell, I let stress and fear hold me back from surfing bigger waves. Bigger, as in, if it were head high, I would only surf chest-high waves. If it were chest high, I would only surf waist to stomach sets. My fear of heights and drowning mixed with my low self-confidence made me miss out on great waves. I am not a big wave chaser to begin with, but I had surfed head-high+ waves before, so none of this was rational. 

This is when I gave stress and fear the equivalent of “employee of the month.” When the bigger sets came in, I would check in with them and let all of my other emotions cheer them on and thank them. Thank you fear for letting me know this is a learning experience to increase my comfort zone. Thank you stress for letting me know I should be preparing more. Since stress and fear were reacting to uncertainty, I analyzed.  Scenario A = I catch the wave, and all is well. Prep for Scenario B = Before surfing I did breathing exercises to increase the time I could hold my breath, and I began envisioning all of the scenarios via meditation. I may not be the best surfer or ride what others consider big waves, but I enjoy it much more again and increase my comfort zone. 

Self Employed Does Not Mean You Have To Do It Alone

You need support systems. Join groups, speak to mentors, hire consultants, and vent to a best friend (dogs are good listeners). These will get the stressors out of your mind and into the air. As someone who likes to reduce variables, bringing in outside sources is tough for me. However, you actually make others happy and feel fulfilled when they help you. It is almost selfish not to seek comfort from others.

When I am unsure, I put my ego aside and ask someone for their view. Make sure you aren’t doing this in a way to dump your problems on others and make sure you are speaking to the right person. My mom will listen to anything I say, but she doesn’t know how to run a business. My buddy and client Matt is busy running 100 businesses, but he will gladly answer a “what would you do in this situation” question as long as I am direct. 

Are you feeling less stressed? If you are feeling overwhelmed because now you have a to-do of how to deal with stress, you are approaching this wrong. As I like to do, let’s simplify the process:
Do not dominate stress, listen to it. Meditate on it.
Do your best to reduce uncertainty.
Find your support.

Need help? I am a click away.